Published May 26, 2016 at 11:26 am
University Challenge (returned)
Are your fledglings returning back to the nest after months at uni? Perhaps, they have just completed their first year and you are dying to get them back in the nest? You may even be bursting with pride as they have completed their whole 3 years. Whatever, your circumstance it must be considered that it won’t be a breeze!
What you have to consider although, this sounds obvious, is that they have lived unaided, ‘unnagged’ and most importantly independently for that period of time. They haven’t had to fit in with anyone else’s plans and have cooked, eaten and partied whenever they choose.
With this in mind, what they won’t appreciate is you telling them what they can or cannot do and when. Nor, will they appreciate you trying desperately to make them mould back into YOUR daily life.
So, what can we do to make this transition a little easier?
1) Speak to them about it! Yes, actually ask them how they think it’s going to work. Not only will they appreciate it, they will also feel like a grown up person with an opinion.
2 ) Don’t assume they will want you to run around after them. This might include washing, cooking etc, ask them what they would prefer you to do if anything.
3) Talk to them about their plans for their summer or indeed their life and if possible offer your support. (Not doing it for them or taking over).
4) Give them space to be alone, remember they are finding it difficult to get back into YOUR life patterns.
5) Be patient when they are not getting up early! Remember, uni hours are very different to ours. Give them time to adjust.
All the above sounds very ‘common sense’ but experience tells me that we naturally assume our young ones will fit back into the family fold without a hitch. We don’t even question that there might be some adjustment because they are OUR kids…..right?
Wrong, they are independent individuals who have survived very well without our daily support and input.