Published September 13, 2016 at 9:45 am
University Challenge (Final Round)
Is your teenager packing boxes for university? Are you busily washing all their clothes ready for the off? Are you counting down the days to when they finally flee the nest? Perhaps they have gone already!
There is no doubt about it, when your teenager leaves for university land your household will never be the same. It sounds dramatic but for most of us it is true. However, I must stress that it is a matter of adjustment! This I have to say is on both sides!
Yes, they will also need to adjust, university is not just about turning up for the odd lecture, spending every night on the town and lying in bed all day. It can be a lonely place at times and can come with many challenges and that is not just academically. For them, fitting into their new routine will be life changing as will yours. They too, will miss home, miss their friends and their home comforts but its all part of the life’s rich tapestry ……as they say!
So, how can we help? We cannot put unrealistic expectations on them, such as: phone home every day, be your friend on face book and text every night to say they got home safely. Yes, you’ll be worried at first and yes you’ll miss them like crazy but be patient with their time.
Some parents can’t understand why their teenager can’t make time for a five minute phone call; however, when your free (which will probably be in the evenings) your teenager is busy socializing and making new friendships. The very last thing they will want to do at this time is to call home!
As I said in the last blog on the very same subject, be patient with them!
If you can, why not visit them for a day or a weekend midterm? Students often report to feeling under pressure to go home all the time so sharing this load may help you both! Of course, this isn’t always possible due to distance and cost.
The point I’m trying desperately to make, is if either party puts too much pressure on the other then the relationship will start to deteriorate, something I guess no parent will want. Or child for that matter! Given this, try to make this transition as easy as you can on both fronts, that way you will both appreciate the others point of view more easily. This in turn will make home visits so much more enjoyable.
So, deep breathes and chins up! Remember……….it’s what you have planned for many years and really you wouldn’t want it any other way as your proud of them for getting this far.
Just remember when you see them wearing their graduation gown and mortar board holding that certificate you will be as proud as punch!