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Happy…..really?

Published January 14, 2019 at 4:17 pm

I appreciate this blog might be a tad controversial however, I felt compelled to write it as recently in my work, particularly with parents, it keeps popping up.

For those of you who have worked with me or have heard a few of my talks, you will know I have an issue with the word HAPPY. people-2567915_1920

I just don’t find it helpful, as it’s such an arbitrary word. When people say they want to be happy, do they mean every waking moment of every day?

Parents often say to me that all they want for their children is for them to be happy!  My answer is: really? Is that REALLY all you want for them?

Once we explore exactly what they hope for their children’s futures, it’s not to be happy only! It’s to be secure, fulfilled, satisfied, to name a few…………

The thing is, what really is happiness?

Is a feeling of contentment (a much better word in my opinion)?

Is it a feeling of satisfaction?

Is a feeling of fulfilment?

Or at one with yourself and the world?

The point I am making is that all of the above come and go, we don’t feel anyone of these all the time (24/7) do we?  If you do, you must be the luckiest person alive and great if you are!

However, for most of us (I hope) we feel some of these, some of the time and likewise, we may go through periods of our life where the above words are prominent in our minds.

My issue is that many people come to see me because they are not feeling any or few of the above, this is my role of course. However, what often isn’t helpful is when people aren’t feeling the above,  that they might get accused of feeling negative, lacking in positive mindset etc etc. This can be demoralising and extremely unhelpful for people experiencing a low time in their lives. It can also contribute to low self esteem and motivation.

To this end, I would ask that the next time you describe feeling happy or indeed, are encouraging someone else to be, try to be a little more thoughtful with your words.

It can such a difference!