Published October 22, 2021 at 10:43 am
Being more assertive
One of the main reasons people ask for my help is to become more assertive. Often a lack of this stems from low self esteem, not surprising I know! However, when we experience feelings of low self esteem we can often play ourselves tape recordings in our head that continue informing our behaviours.
These might go something like:
People won’t like me if I voice my honest opinion
I must go along with what others think as I will be an outcast
I won’t have any friends if I say what I think
…..and so on.
Assertiveness isn’t about being aggressive or turning on people, it’s about having an opinion and being able to voice it without feeling guilty. There are many reasons why people experience low self esteem, more than I can cover in this blog. However, not using your voice only perpetuates it and makes you feel much worse.
Actually, people respect you so much more if you do voice your opinion….honestly!!! It has the opposite effect as there is a mutual respect there. This is what being assertive is all about….mutual respect and not being aggressive.
So, the next time you are in a situation where by you feel your opinion doesn’t count then argue with yourself and open your mouth. Afterwards you will feel liberated and although at the time it may feel a little alien, you’ll soon get used to it. Practice in the mirror if necessary!
Remember………….you will be respected either way…honest!!
If I can help with any of the issues above please contact me for help.