Published December 12, 2018 at 11:08 am
Feel like you are on a vicious cycle of feeling bad?
We can all be guilty of Altered thinking, we might think “I’m rubbish at everything” when something goes wrong in our lives. We can be guilty of thinking that everything in our lives is negative rather than actually the one thing that has gone wrong. By saying to our selves “I’m rubbish” really is most unhelpful and not very factual, yes, we may have got something wrong, but does this really extend to getting everything wrong? I would say not.
Guilt and sadness are often associated with these feelings and I can’t stress enough the importance of being accurate about exactly what has happened. You maybe feeling guilty about not calling your mum for example but extending this guilty feeling to every area of your life will only make you feel lower in mood. It’s much better to own the guilt and then decide what action to take. Either call your mum and face the consequences (she maybe annoyed) or make a conscious decision to continue to ignore her. Either way you’ll feel better…..honest.
When we have these feelings they often affect our physical well being, we may have a tight stomach or feel anxious, experience headaches which in turn will lead us into spiralling symptoms, this is when colds etc take hold. This may sound dramatic, but I have observed feelings of guilt and anxiety turn into ongoing niggling symptoms that bring peoples resilience to an all time low.
This cycle can go round and round if we don’t stop it!
When we feel low to start with, we have a tendency to exaggerate things and ‘blow them up’ saying things like “She hates me” just because someone at work may have looked at you in a certain way. This then leads to, “everyone hates me” and the feelings of low mood begin.
We then might say, “I’m not going out tonight” thus, proving our point further and not getting a night out in the bargain. This in turn then leads to feelings of low mood and sadness.
What might be a much healthier approach is to ask the person who you thought looked at you, if there is an issue? That way you are stopping the cycle before it starts! Instead of ‘mind reading’ ask if there is a problem, in most cases there isn’t, the person simply has things on their mind. The fact is, unless you ask you won’t know.
So, instead of getting on the ‘vicious cycle’ ride simply ask, or take action……simple!